You've been fairly good to me, I must say. You brought me quite a few new friends, let me learn about God, filled my days with activities. I can't say I've been proud of all of them, but I'm glad for most of the things I did while you were around. I think you've been one of the best years I've had in all 20 I've lived. I really enjoyed my time with you.
While there was much cause to laugh and be happy about, during the course of your stay I've cried too. More so than any other years. I cried mostly because I realised I had to let go of a lot of things, realised that just because you want something doesn't mean you can or must have it. It was hard accepting that, I must admit, and even harder letting go of my desires. I've learnt that I also have to focus on the things I do have, instead of what I don't. Even THIS lesson many take for granted. To know doesn't always lead to doing.
Still, you've taught me a lot, and because of this, doubt is ever present in my life. It's not a presence I welcome, but I can't shun it either. This IS real life after all, and I can't go on heedlessly accepting and never questioning. Have I grown up? Yes, a little, but not enough. There are so many times I can look back on my time with you and see the selfishness, disregard and the hurtful things I've done to not only others, but myself. If you can't strive to be a better person in each coming year, what else is there for you in life?
I will miss you dearly, for your departure heralds a new chapter in my life, one that already has bad beginnings. School and the module bidding system is making me a little stressed. On top of that, some of my friends will be leaving this year. I hate goodbyes, and I hate the empty feeling I get when someone I care about isn't close at hand, now more than a bus trip away.
Without departures though, how can the new come in? And so I say goodbye. You've passed on, the memories linger, surely, and I'm letting go in hope 2004 will treat me as well as you did, if not better.
