:: No hablo estúpido ::

I wonder if there's such a thing as writer's high.

Yeah. I just finished off a thousand word essay and it only took me... okay, fine, 3 hours, which is a poorer record than my 2000 words in 4 hours. Writer's block, as you know. The best solution of course is to go do something else to take your mind off things, because as we all (we don't?) know - that which we try not to think about inevitably surfaces in our mind. It's called ironic something-or-another. Well, ok, it's really called ironic reversal. Why'd you have to go make me check it up anyway? *grumble*

This is especially so when your cognitive abilities are limited. When you dwell on your block it just sits there... like a... like a toad in a hole and I doubt it can be overcome by the power of your mind. As a bit of edification for those of you not blessed to be part of the Social Cognition class (count your blessings! count your blessings!), the process involves two parts - automatic and controlled processing. The automatic process seeks out stimuli that reminds you of what you're not supposed to be thinking about so you can... (through the power of controlled thinking) ...intentionally NOT think about it and search for distractors. Now see, when you're cognitively busy, the controlled part malfunctions because apparently it takes up loads of RAM or brain cells or something like that. But the automatic process continues, leading to... yes, you've got it, ironic reversal. You just start paying more attention to things that you didn't want to pay attention to.

Therefore, thinking about writer's block will most likely keep the block there. Because now, not only are you especially paying attention to it, by paying attention to it and wondering how you can get rid of it, you compromise your cognitive abilities. And... oh... never mind.

Anyway, back to the title. Yes, is there a writer's high? It would definitely explain this gleeful feeling after my completion of every essay.

Also, MOE and their paper cows! GRRR. Why does the government need so much unnecessary paperwork? Is it some test to see if I'll be an obedient civil servant and turn in all this information that they NO DOUBT already have on me? I mean, consider this bit of irony - MOE wants your result slips in an application for a job posting, BUT if it just so happens you've lost your result slip, who do you go to? MOE. It speaks of inefficiency in communication between departments and levels if they require me to submit information they should already have.

If the test theory is true however, I have nothing more to say...

One more thing... 320 frickin' dollars difference between third class honours and a degree with merit?! I am SO tempted to do my honours now for that difference, because as my grades stand right now, I do qualify for honours.

$320!!

I mean... $320?!!

THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY DOLLARS?!!

:: nimezs @ 3:47 am [+] ::

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Yes, my laptop has been resurrected, after some pretty nifty organ transplants. It's got a brand new heart and a nifty (unclunky) cooling system. The battery, sad to say is malfunctioning - it DOES NOT last for up to 2 hours, and I'm not to sure about the CD-rom drive, since that was taken out before I sent my com for servicing. Nonetheless, hope it works, and that they reinstalled windows on my com, otherwise it'll be a long and boring process reinstalling everything. Bleargh.

Well, apart from that, I've been offered a teaching post at MOE. I think my parents are more ecstastic than me, 'cause the only thought running through my head is "Argh, are you telling me I have to go to work first?!" It's quite a nerve-wrecking thought since I have zero teaching experience apart from one to one tuition. Sigh.

And lastly, my thought for today involves tit-for-tat. I'll elaborate some more another day, but the gist of it is, if you treat me nice, I'll be nice to you. If you treat me like crap, I'll be flinging some of that right back in your face.

That being said, your boyfriend is a jerk if he doesn't remember/know where your blog is. Possibly doubly so if he doesn't care about the above fact, but I haven't decided whether not caring is a good thing or a bad thing.

:: nimezs @ 1:23 pm [+] ::

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Did you ever wonder about the reasons people came to your blog? Whether to spy, for leisure, interest? Naturally, there's a multifold of reasons, but I'd like to think that each person in part cares a little about what I think.

Of course, you might hate me, but if you're here - you're reading this precisely because what I think and do is in some way important to you. That's strangely gratifying to me, though I'm sure this fact will definitely change your motivations for coming here in the future.

Well, if you like me, all the more reason for you to keep up with the trends of my mind, no? (If you don't, I'll want to know why!) In which case, I'm still deeply gratified - thanks for caring, y'all, no matter what the extent. I can only tell by the numerous comments you give, heh heh.

Ok, ok, after that bit of mush, let's move on to updates: I have a 50% test tomorrow and the day after, so wish me luck. My nose has been bleeding this few days, so pray that it's nothing serious. I've been struggling against the monotony of work without regular access to a computer, so tell me all the studying is worth it! Well, I did sneak in 5 hours of Final Fantasy. *Sigh* But apart from that I've been glued to my books. I think.

Boring life. I need new shoes. And a job. And maybe more sleep.

:: nimezs @ 10:24 pm [+] ::

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My laptop has crashed due to a hardware problem - funnily, not long after ICQ 5 was installed. Since it's been sent in for servicing, it's sayonara to all the short stories, novellettes, photos, mp3s, videos and term papers I ever had installed there.

It's a death of some sorts - a lesser one, because now there will be this massive gap of information missing from my life. Everything I relied on, all my projects, sketchings, musings, music (Oh, yes, even that piece I composed for one of modules... I'll never get that back again) all gone. Mostly unreplicatable - like my Diablo 2 savegame files. My high level sorc, the whimsically named two-handed sword. Gone. Gone. Gone.

I should be in a state of depression. But I don't think I am, actually. It's just the sort of shit that life throws at you and frankly, there's nothing much to be done about it now except to wipe off and move on.

Of all the unreplicateable data lost, I think the loss of my midi hurts the most because it's original, and therefore, one of a kind and I could never reproduce something like that again. Well, unless Lisa still has the file with her. Doubtful, it was such a long time ago. The photo loss isn't that bad, because what are photos but snapshots of real life? Memories are so much more fun to toy around with. All my scenery photos are still available on Multiply... but the shots of people.. ah well.

I've said this before somewhere, that death does not make me sad. It is the thoughts of all that has been lost, all that could have been that make me long for what's gone. But how do you mourn an inanimate object?

Because it was part of me, perhaps. I mourn the loss of me.

Well... Seeing as to how some parts might have to be replaced, I'll only be posting sporadically, or not at all, at least for 4 weeks. Also, expect not to see me online at those lovely hours where only the insane and dead are awake. I don't have the ability to come talk to you at that hour anymore. =(

After I get my laptop back though, I would be greatly appreciative of songs and file-sharing to replenish my depleted stock. And *groans*, looks like I will have to start copying and pasting all my stories into one master file again. And whatever progress I may have made that's not been published on opendiary is gone too. Argh.

C'est la vie. C'est la vie.

:: nimezs @ 1:25 pm [+] ::

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And they say Singaporeans aren't having enough sex.

Disclaimer: I don't know if these results are accurate or true, but they appeared on a Health Psychology lecture. Also, not sure WHEN this was, but still... food for thought.

:: nimezs @ 9:29 pm [+] ::

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I think I may have developed a taste aversion to alcohol... Just the thought of it is enough to make me sick. Ugh.

In other news: This game. Very cool, and pardon the pun. ;-)

You'll have to register to play other episodes but from what I've seen of the first epi, it's all good. I love the narrator's voice - accent and everything, even though a tad over-enunciated.

Well, that brings me the full circle back to the alcohol bit, 'cause you're supposed to mix a Dry Manhattan as one of the objectives. As a reward they give you recipes for other cocktail mixes.

UGH.

:: nimezs @ 12:42 am [+] ::

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Damnit. I liked my brief affair with drawing comics. Damnit. I'm too lazy. Damnit. That kind of thing doesn't pay much. I don't suppose anyone wants to buy the originals? Hahahaha...

:: nimezs @ 9:53 pm [+] ::

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Furthermore, MSN not working. Curse this reliance on messenger programmes.

And another thing I was pondering - As a rule, I never use vulgarities unless really angry or shocked, or a mild combination of both. In particular, Hokkien cuss words don't leave my mouth unless I'm in the presence of someone who understands and uses them (read: men).

Still, I can't help feeling I'm being conditioned not to be shocked at Hokkien vulgarities even when I utter them because 1) Guys use them a lot when they're playing games. 2) Shock mingled with faint amusement - it's hard for me to feel sorry about uttering words like that when the other person is asking "What did you say?" with a fairly wide grin on his face. Bwahahaha.

:: nimezs @ 1:38 am [+] ::

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My obsession with mustard continues.

Today, or rather yesterday, I headed down to the supermarket for mustard. My family doesn't eat mustard - at all, in fact so there's none at home, also fast-food restaurants aren't in the habit of dispensing mustard as a condiment. I don't see why not, since mustard is a fantastic complement to hamburgers. Customers should be allowed to put as much mustard as possible on their food if so wanted.

Well ANYWAY, I decided to head down to the one at Century Square : Shop n' Save, since the line there would most likely be shorter than the one at Tampines Mall. I was right about that, but the price for that was... there wasn't any mustard there. A supermarket that serves Horseradish and Cranberry Sauce (seperate sauces, not one...)but NOT mustard is one that will most likely not be patronized. I mean, I think more people eat mustard than horseradish sauce. At least that's what I think - pardon me for any bias there because I've never seen anyone eating horseradish sauce with anything else.

So, tired and hungry, I trudged over to Tampines Mall's Fairprice, and let me tell you it's true. You should never go grocery shopping when you're hungry because you'll be tempted to buy much more than you really need - I only needed mustard, but in the end, I came away with a box of instant soup (Campbell's cheese and mushroom - sounds interesting), a bag of cheese chicken cocktail sausages and very nearly bought a bottle of bacon bits. Which is not so bad, considering I was really, really hungry. And also: So many types of mustard here! Branding aside, there's fine whole-grain mustard, dijonaise(?), mild american mustard, and honey mustard (expensive!). As an amateur mustard fan, I have to say... I dunno. I didn't know what to pick, but finally settled on the mustard-mayonaise mix sauce. And my conclusion of this is: Maybe I'll try the mild american mustard next, 'cause mustard-mayonaise, though nice, isn't tangy enough and too sweet for me... and is shall we say... mild?

That aside, I might retract my statement that Alexis Bledel is not sexy if I watch Sin City and get a chance to reassess that statement. I may even take down the post if she DOES prove to be sexy in her role as a disillusioned prostitute...(Isn't that the whole point of being a prostitute... sex?) And let's look at it this way - Kristen Kreuk has definitely more potential of being sexy than Alexis Bledel. But, she's never been portrayed thus in any movie/television series I've heard of. Then again, she (KK) doesn't have a very impressive filmography.

But still, within my searches as a related link - Lucy Lawless! Boy, I've missed her. She was the reason I watched Xena. The colour of her eyes is stunning. She should've kept her real name. It was much nicer, though I suppose not as catchy.

So where was I? Ah, removing the post will definitely occur the day Kristen Kreuk takes up the role of a prostitute/stripper. Suffice to say - I'll retract the statement and rave that BOTH Alexis and Kristen are Hot if ever they stop playing the roles of Sweet Young Things, which y'know, Alexis still seems to be playing even in Sin City. Even as a prostitute. =P

:: nimezs @ 12:50 am [+] ::

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