With edits...And, you know what? There's an actual League of Losers out there. How um... sad. Is that a compliment?
"LOL 11/9/2002
Join the league of losers (LOL) today!
Is your life screwed? Do you do stupid things that earn you the title of "Loser" from people around you? Do you sometimes wish you could do whatever you wanted without being shamed?
Our league promises the fulfilment every idiotic dream you had, and a chance to be among your brethren losers. We will not judge you for your past mistakes, or your fallacies! Rather, we applaud your brave effort to stand up and shout, "I AM A LOSER!"
Here at the League of Losers, we wear our labels proudly, as we at LOL know that it takes a special breed of people to qualify as losers. Each year, we reward our members for doing stupid things by holding our "Greatest Loser of the Year" contest, where participants compete in telling of their most shameful, gut-wrenchingly embarrassing moments of loss. There are several other sub-contests involved in this event, such as the Ugly Contest and the Three-legged Backwards Race.
Membership is free, although members are required to purchase, at a small free, a badge proclaiming them losers. This badge allows you a 5% discount at all outlets, stores or shops owned by other losers like yourself. We at LOL believe in sharing good fortune. Furthermore, each member is virtually guaranteed a place at the Annual Grass Growing Watchers Convention!
What's more? If you join the LOL today, you stand a chance to apply for the prestigious position in the Administration. You will be tasked to organise sufficiently inane events for the enjoyment of our members. The position of Chief Jester is also up for grabs. You will be required to plan, oversee, and judge the "Say-something-stupidly-original-day".
Hesitate no longer! Sign up, today! We can make your life that much sadder! Remember: We put the ‘lose’ in recluse!"
