Christmas is, and has been always one of my favourite holidays. I find it quite a great pity that I will not be able to spend it with friends or family in Singapore. But then, we've never placed great emphasis on the celebration of Christmas.
So what the hell is Christmas, if not a commercialized holiday? The season of giving, the seaon of hope? Earlier today I said to someone: Never expect anything, because people keep letting you down over and over.
The downside to that, is of course, that you become cynical, and believe that there is no hope, no one you can depend on, nothing to look forward to, and life is bleak and meaningless. Is it that way to me? Sometimes. Which is worse? Not getting something you expect to get, or foregoing the feeling of looking forward to something? The hope makes you happy, but you're afraid to expect too much. How is it possible to look forward to anything?
And yet, losing hope... how can I say this is something I want to happen to me? I do want to be light-hearted, I do want to be happy. But if I am to shield myself from the hurt of unfulfilled wishes...
Just live for the next moment. Never dreaming. Moving on. And everything. And nothing. And meaningless words that just flow and flow. And unfeeling. And empty. And pretending. And covering. Shielding from others. Momentary happiness. False laughter. Unknown. Untouched.
:: nimezs @ 1:02 am [+] ::
