while i was crying i kept thinking to myself, oh my god, why am i crying, why am i crying? my heart knows perfectly well why, but my brain refuses to put it in words. I feel better now. maybe now i can move on. Maybe. i surely can't sleep now. there was so much i wanted to type here, but nothing is coming now.
all the while i kept thinking i don't deserve... or rather, i shouldn't waste my time with someone who makes me cry. i can see how he feels about me now. and it makes me angry, and sad. but i asked for it, i suppose. knowingly trying to pursue something i couldn't get. how foolish can we get?
yes, i know how he feels. it doesn't make everything he's said a lie though, because i'm sure he didn't realise it either. but i see it now. and yes, my heart is sorely charged. so now... yes. move on. reject him as he has unknowingly rejected me.
