:: No hablo estúpido ::And not having a sense of humour is probably fatal. | |
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:: Saturday, December 31, 2005 ::
:: Thursday, December 22, 2005 :: You'd be pissed if someone changed your article, wouldn't you? Well, I had the weirdest dream where the editor of the magazine that I was writing for changed the entire meaning of my article, rewrote the words, added his own pictorial content, which sucked, frankly, and to top it all off, changed the LANGUAGE the article was written in. I was so angry. I was screaming at him that the assignment did not mention that it was to be in Chinese and the way he re-wrote the article made it entirely off-topic. Not to mention the fact that he used horribly out-of-focus pictures to illustrate the article. And gave me credit for it! As if I would want to be credited for a piece of crap I did not write. It was quite a funny dream. I was so mad I wanted to hit him, although other people stepped in to prevent a ruckus, so I couldn't. And I hate people who say "I want to" and then later don't for no good reason at all. :: nimezs @ 12:14 pm [+] :: ... :: Wednesday, December 21, 2005 :: Here's the address of my ex secret blog. I don't have any more use for it and I'm not ashamed of my weakness anymore. Indulge yourself with my ranty whining. Though I must warn you, please don't look at it if you think you may cry. I know it made me do so in my more depressed times. I want to begin this process of opening up to people. To stop relying on my own strength. My secrets have expiry dates, apparently. But because you are special to me, I will share them with you. :: nimezs @ 3:46 am [+] :: ... :: Tuesday, December 20, 2005 :: Well, I'm back. I loved the trip, to say nothing of the company! I can't plan holidays for nuts, or take care of myself, but it's a good thing the people I travel with can. In exchange, I'll follow you anywhere and do whatever you want without complaint. Almost anything. Hey, I dispensed massages, you know. Free. Lol. I'm so glad I went. Got to know everyone better and I have to say I definitely feel more amiable towards them now. Nel is a fantastic travel companion. She'll bargain for you, point out items you want and since she has a love for good food, you'll never want for it. Since I read her post before doing mine, I have to say I'm a little influenced by what she wrote. We travelled in two groups most of the time, and I have to say that Eugene cracks me up with his weird jokes and ideas. He's such ham too. Keeps asking for photos and videos to be taken of himself. But I do love subjects who pose willingly for me. Benjamin, on the other hand, doesn't. Still, he really surprised me, because I never knew him that well to begin with. He's much cheekier than I expected - behind that innocently boyish face is a crazily suggestive mind. Erin and Ryan I didn't travel around much with, but I have to say they were great fun during the drinking games. Er. That doesn't shed a very good light on them, huh? *grin* They seem like a nice couple though, and I *know* Erin is nice. I don't know what else to write now, except that I really do enjoy travelling with friends and I hope I'll have the opportunity to do it again with other friends. Then I can compare and contrast - is it friends in general I like to travel with, or just this particular group of friends. Heh. I'll end off with a quote I thought was rather true that I read whilst surfing today. "Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings." - Anais Nin :: nimezs @ 1:21 am [+] :: ... :: Thursday, December 15, 2005 :: Firstly, Levi's jeans! YAY! But, size 27. Boo. At least not size 28.Yay. But still tight. Boo. Neltje assures me it's perfectly normal and I'll lose all sensation in my legs after a while. Kidding. I'm off to Thailand. See you in four! :: nimezs @ 9:05 am [+] :: ... :: Wednesday, December 14, 2005 :: Good morning, folks. You're online here with the author of this blog. Let me just say it's been a rough day for us. A loooong day in fact. It all started with having to meet Neltje for shopping at 4.30 pee am. As it turned out she was late and I needn't have taken a cab, but I did, and most unfortunately, if you remember my cashless crisis - which is still ongoing - I did not have any money to pay for the cab. Also, my ATM card could not be used, still, because they didn't send their pin and I couldn't use the old pin. Ridiculous, if you ask me, but, what the hey, as if they cared about my happiness. And UOB? Within 7 working days huh. Well, I guess that means I'll have to wait until at least Thursday since I called you on Tuesday? This is ridiculous. I can't withdraw ANY money at all. Maybe I should just withdraw all my money and put it into Citibank. That'll learn you. Yeah, so, in a most amusing twist of fate, the only way I could get any money at all was to convert my 50 ringgit into Sing dollars. 50 for 21.50 - bad deal if you ask me, considering my 50 ringgit note was worth much more several months ago. Meh. But what to do. Then to top it off, I was approached by one of those donation drive people who asked me to buy one of their tickety things. For $10. I was all "I don't have any money!" and he was like "Maybe you can look for an ATM?" and I was "Look, I'm having a very rough time here because my ATM cards can't be used for drawing money and I can only use credit cards!" And he went "Oh." and I went "I'm sorry." and stalked off to do some retail therapy. Except that I didn't. Good thing too, the boots weren't worth it. I'm very grumpy now. Where's the boyfriend I can force to stay up with me while I'm doing my work? The bashful one with speccys from my dream? The one with a large disposable income? The sweetheart with soft skin? Where is he?! WHERE?! I don't think he exists. :: nimezs @ 3:12 am [+] :: ... :: Tuesday, December 13, 2005 :: Except we're not, so if you show us photos of cars, talk about cars, fantasize about cars, we will yawn. Politely but pointedly. Our interests are not yours, we understand, so you should understand that your interests are not ours. It is unfair to expect us to be excited about cars when you care not a whit about shopping or that sale at Guess. Oh, and if any of you girls feel upset that I'm using "we" and "us" in my post, rest assured I was not speaking for you. Go ahead and gush over cars. Brown-noser. :: nimezs @ 2:08 pm [+] :: ... If I'm going to buy something branded, it better be of good quality or at least have the freaking brand name written all over it.:: Sunday, December 11, 2005 :: Funny that it should come to me suddenly just before I went to bed. If it happened often enough, I'd be worried that I was suffering from chronic depression. It's late at night and there's no one I can or want to talk to on MSN, so this is the next best thing, I suppose. Yes, I admit, I think there's still some anger and grief in me regarding my breakup. If this is news to you, I'm sorry - I've never been one to announce my feelings and my business to all and sundry. The way I see... saw... (I don't know which is the case) it, my feelings are a personal thing and I should not inflict the pain of my own pain on others. Which may be a bad thing, because I don't know if I've actually vented enough to get over it. Sometimes I worry that I'm just brushing things under the rug instead of really being ok. I can't tell. It feels mostly the same. Except when things like this happen, and I'm assaulted with memories so poignant that I just start tearing. Perhaps I'm terribly adept at deluding myself - otherwise why all the private tears without the outward admission? I think the episode was mainly sparked off by my remembrance about how sweetly it started - the giddy happiness and solemn promises. The heartwretching ache for that missed feeling. And then the recollection of how upset I was later. Ridiculous really. How can you tell others you're alright when you cry in bed, cry in the shower, cry on the bus? I used to be able to count the number of times I cried per year but I think I completely lost track of what that number is over the past 2 years. When I think about it now, it was just me feeling sorry for myself. I don't tell people these things because I never wanted them to 1) feel sorry for me or worse, 2) make them feel as though I wanted them to feel sorry for me. Also, who knows how some people might experience schadenfreude. Maybe it's a fear of seeming vulnerable. I know how it would shock a whole bunch of people if they ever saw me cry. And really, it's so much easier to say you're ok than to explain how not okay you are. As for anger... It's a very undirected anger. I have no one to be angry at, no one I can think of to blame. Quite unsettling to me because it all feels very unresolved, somehow. Anyway, I think I'm normal now. I just needed to talk to someone and the urge to hug someone and cry is completely gone. I'm er... mostly myself and not sure if this should even be published. Still. I am human. I do grieve, I get angry and become unobjective. Just let me feel as though I'm justified in being insensible, is all I ask. =) :: nimezs @ 1:40 am [+] :: ... :: Saturday, December 10, 2005 :: I have discovered that one of the greatest trials of being a journalist at New Paper is writing puns into their titles. What the?! I shouldn't be surprised, really. After I let my cell group mate read a list of pun titles that the writer regretted using for this in-flight magazine he wrote for, the former said they were good. Good?! "Snow place like home"? "Too Much of a Food Thing"? Oh, and he particularly liked "Raising the Steaks". Pris and I were like "Next time you have a problem with titles, ask us. Anytime." :: nimezs @ 4:45 pm [+] :: ... :: Friday, December 09, 2005 :: Isn't it amazing how people can bond over some shared interest? And so quickly too? You know someone all of two hours, and then suddenly it's "Can I have your number?" Come to think of it, that's probably how me and the ex started our friendship. (NB: When I say ex, it refers to the latest one, because the previous one was long enough ago that I may now safely call him a friend without choking on blood that threatens to explode from my oesophagus. Also, as I said to Joey, I have the ability to extrapolate the weirdest scenarios, so please ignore me when I border on maniacal. It's, I'm sure, a side-effect of my histrionic nature.) The downside of such friendships or whatever relationship predicated on this common love for something is that when said "something" is removed, you no longer have anything to gush over together. And your relationship is kaput because e.g. "Ever since X gave up his hurdy-gurdy to buy an engagment ring, it hasn't been the same. We've nothing to talk about now." But then again, relationships founded on absolutely nothing sometimes seem to thrive very long too because neither can find any reason to break it off. Nonetheless, isn't it amazing how quickly people can bond over a shared interest? :: nimezs @ 12:28 pm [+] :: ...
:: Wednesday, December 07, 2005 ::
 Shiny, shiny!  Which is shallow and materialistic, I know, but oh... you don't know the paroyxsms of joy it sends me into. There's something insanely compelling about Tiffany's. I once said to a friend, give a girl a ring from Tiffany's and she'll probably say yes to anything. And I've been having a fairly bad time with my possessions. So far I've lost 1 necklace, 1 debit card, the pin number to my OTHER debit card, a pair of shoes (which broke), handphone cover (also broke), and to top it off, a national library book at church. All in all, not a good day either. Shoe strap snapped in the morning. Pin number which worked fine just an hour earlier became WRONG. Then, going home, spent about 15 to 20 minutes waiting alone in line at the Pasir Ris Bus Interchange for 12. It never came. And when there seemed a glimmer a hope that this double deckered bus that started pulling out of the berth might be the bus I was waiting for, this OTHER bus pulled up in front of the bus-line. And it wasn't even any of the buses listed in the queue! Lost sight of the maybe-12, and when the stupid other bus FINALLY pulled away, it was GONE. ARGH. But I'm okay. And I know material possessions are just material possessions - and sometimes it's not the tangible things that you give that count, but the intangible things - time, patience, love. Why you give these things is important too - they should be given with the knowledge that it will please and a heart that is only too happy to give. Not because you have to, but because you want to. Also, knowing when to give something and what to give is pretty important too. Even when they're not demanded of you. Whoever you are, the many people I love and who love me, thanks for caring. It matters to me. Nonetheless... Tiffany's box! So hypnotically pretty! :: nimezs @ 1:16 am [+] :: ... :: Sunday, December 04, 2005 :: I'm not camera shy because I don't want to be like the people I constantly photograph. The truth is, however, I hate having photos of myself because it somehow destroys the perfect self-image I have. Not that my self-image is that perfect, really. Maybe it's something that happens to others too, but I look at photos of myself and instantly pick out flaws. In fact, the more photos taken of me, the less confident I feel about my looks. If ever I've been said to be pretty, I attribute it entirely to good lighting and carefully applied make-up. Therefore, if you've ever seen me around in my glasses and horribly mismatched clothes, you'll know that I'm having one of those "I can't be bothered to compete with the beautiful people around me anymore so why give a damn?" days. It also explains why I'm sometimes obsessed with staying fit/keeping fat off. The way I see it, that's the only claim to attractiveness I seem to have. Anyway, if you're like me and hate photos of yourself, let me tell you that being camera shy just induces people to take MORE photos of you. The more you hide, the more people will want to take those oh-so-elusive photos of you. Seriously. Unless you actually want people to take more photos of you. :: nimezs @ 10:16 pm [+] :: ... :: Tuesday, November 29, 2005 :: I've been experiencing a lull in my life. It's probably to do with impending NIE admission and no work at school. I hope. *crosses fingers* Kind of boring, and restful at the same time. I'm dying for some activity or sport. Cycling, blading, canoeing, whatever, I'm dying to go out and expend some energy. Sitting at home all day somehow makes me very jittery and for some strange reason... crave mambo. Dance music. Dancing till my legs ache. I don't do it often but I do enjoy the er.... hair-letting-down-ness of it. I'm not going to indulge this craving though, because of the unsavoury externalities. I mean, the only place you can go to get reasonably enjoyable entertainment on mambo nights are clubs. And what else do you get at clubs? Sneaky young/old men, smoking and gratuitous drinking. I don't like the smell of smoke, nor sneaky men (either young or old) and I don't drink that much or for the enjoyment of it. I do drink for the buzz it creates. On the plus side, it seems I've gotten over my alcohol adversion. My point. So what is my point. Ask me out, please. I'm dying to go out and do something fun. Preferably something that doesn't cost a lot. :: nimezs @ 2:14 pm [+] :: ... :: Saturday, November 26, 2005 :: I dreamt of a man who had very smooth facial skin. I don't think he liked me very much because I told him so. :: nimezs @ 1:22 am [+] :: ... :: Thursday, November 24, 2005 :: I thought it ended. But it was not. Only laid aside, forgotten. Still I do not want it. It chains me. But. Perhaps it will linger till the day my heart stops. :: nimezs @ 10:52 pm [+] :: ... :: Tuesday, November 22, 2005 :: I'm not sure if getting a flu jab right in the middle of the rainy season was the smartest idea. Especially since I also had a mild cough (dry, no phlegm, no funny blocked nose sensation). Had being the operative word. It looks like it's developing into a full blown phlegmmy, nose-blocking and wet cough. Meh. :: nimezs @ 11:57 am [+] :: ... :: Thursday, November 17, 2005 :: While on the way home from school today, I saw a poster advertising Saw 2. If you've seen the first movie, you'll know that its victims were forced to perform hideous self-multilation to either save their own lives or the lives of their loved ones. (Doesn't matter which. But you'll notice a lot of movies have this plot-line: Kill yourself or else we'll kill your loved ones.) Then I started wondering. If someone wanted to threaten me, who would they kidnap? It sounds rather callous but I could not think of anyone that I would be willing to die for. If I did sacrfice myself, I have a feeling it would be more due to the fact that I thought it to be something I had to do rather than really experiencing a need to protect someone. But enough of sad stuff. Look what I did today! I'm really pleased with how it turned out, even though I'm sure it could be better. Photoshop rocks! I spent HOURS on it - to think it was the simplest storyline I had in mind. Yes, Tweety belongs to Warner. But I'm not like... going to use it for commercial purposes. :: nimezs @ 4:54 pm [+] :: ... :: Tuesday, November 15, 2005 :: As I was making breakfast/lunch this morning/afternoon, it suddenly occurred to me that I'd make a terrible wife. I can't cook, can't sew, can't clean. Apart from adoring my husband, there's not much else I can do around the house. Which then gave rise to the following scenario running through my head... On washing clothes: Him: "Arrgh! My shirts! What happened to them?!" Me: "I hear pink is a very popular colour among young executives these days..." And then I thought it would be a great storyline to have for some manga series, if it hasn't already been done. :: nimezs @ 1:50 pm [+] :: ... :: Thursday, November 10, 2005 :: I have learnt that mambo is merely a matter of making hand gestures that describe the words of the song - a bit like modified sign language. I now know the hand gestures to "babe", "fire", "moonlight", "sunlight"... "you"... "me"... "heart"... and really, that's all you need to know to do the actually-quite-amusing-to-watch mambo moves. Or you could be creative and make up your own. If it's in time to the music, I think it'll pass. :: nimezs @ 4:57 am [+] :: ... :: Sunday, November 06, 2005 :: I'm probably one of those few people who has to read the chinese comics with a dictionary. :: nimezs @ 11:59 pm [+] :: ... :: Saturday, November 05, 2005 :: I need to do something about the archives. The list is getting too long. I'm not sure what yet. :: nimezs @ 11:49 pm [+] :: ... :: Friday, November 04, 2005 ::
 This is for all the ladies... 1024 by 768 This first appeared here. While you're at it, you can read some other related stuff. :: nimezs @ 2:00 pm [+] :: ... :: Thursday, November 03, 2005 :: If people were beverages, I'd have to say I want a glass of red wine. Not because of how it tastes (I dislike alcohol in general) but for what it symbolises. It goes well with red meat, fine dining, reeks of romance and best of all, it doesn't give you a hangover the next morning! So far I've tried a Tiger Beer and a Vodka Coke, neither of which really sat well with me. In the meanwhile though, I'll be glad to bide my time with tea and coffee. Milo too, perhaps, but not that often... it makes me feel bloated and nauseated. :: nimezs @ 8:58 pm [+] :: ... :: Wednesday, November 02, 2005 ::
 Right-click to copy? Like it? Download 1024 X 765.  This one isn't so nice. Download 1024 X 768 :: nimezs @ 4:23 pm [+] :: ... :: Sunday, October 30, 2005 ::
 I still think this photo is hiliarious. :: nimezs @ 10:23 pm [+] :: ... :: Saturday, October 29, 2005 :: I don't remember how he looks like now. I didn't know his name or how we met or how we got to know each other. I don't know who he is. I remember that he was taller than me by at least a head, and strong enough to pick me up by the waist and swing me around. I remember he wore glasses. I remember he wasn't particularly good looking, but he was pleasant to look at. I remember we kissed in the taxi. He smiled so happily such that his best friends immediately knew. It was sweet. But it was only a dream. And dreams don't usually come true, do they? :: nimezs @ 12:00 pm [+] :: ... :: Sunday, October 23, 2005 :: Not like I didn't. There WAS a wish-list, albeit short. And I think I told a lot of people at least once that I lost one side of my hoop earrings, but only one person bothered to promise to buy me a pair. And forgot, later. But he's already been tongue lashed and I've already bought a pair on my own, so it doesn't matter. Anyway thanks, folks. Thanks very much. I don't think I've eaten quite so much birthday cake in any other year. Except 2003. Where there were 2 in one night. You did buy me a cookie, anyway, L, so don't obsess about the cake. I don't need more cake. :: nimezs @ 3:20 am [+] :: ... :: Wednesday, October 19, 2005 :: If I've been snappish to you within the past week or so, I apologise. It's been a long week. I have baptism class on Monday, cell group on tuesday and this week, a whole pile of marking to wade through. A whole lot of things to do and little time with which to spend it on. And I waste more time doing pointless.... you know. Furthermore, I'm short on sleep. Pointing out that I look tired, shockingly, does not improve my temper. Word to the wise. I will still attempt to dress up a bit when asked out though - just because I'm not feeling good doesn't mean I can't look good. Except when I'm in school. A few more minutes of sleep is much more important than looking good. :: nimezs @ 11:27 pm [+] :: ... :: Monday, October 17, 2005 :: After seeing the photo shoot 8 days did for Joanne Peh, I am 58.8% (of 17 self-consideration trials) sure that I have a figure at least as good as hers. But bummer. I'm a 100% sure my thighs are fatter than they used to be. This is no good at all. I want to be able to fit into my jeans. Feh. Now I'm all self-conscious again. :: nimezs @ 11:32 pm [+] :: ... :: Sunday, October 16, 2005 :: Fine, now he has a weird-looking arm. :: nimezs @ 2:13 am [+] :: ... :: Thursday, October 13, 2005 ::  Winpaint sucks. Yes, I know. And .jpg format sucks too. Everything's all ... not clean. Yes, anyhow, the whole school life based webcomic genre is really, really getting old. Maybe I don't belong to the target audience anymore, but reading about someone's life at school bores me. If another Bobbin rip-off is pimped to me, someone will be killed. I know the guy's missing an arm in the second panel. I don't care! I sketched the above strip (on winpaint) to make a graphic point, not to show off my art. Well, maybe I did get carried away with the colouring and shadows... but... That's not the point! :: nimezs @ 11:32 pm [+] :: ... :: Wednesday, October 12, 2005 :: Tim says: i'm entertaining eugene. tim says: he's waiting for something. yahoo gaming i guess. Nicole says: haha Nicole says: entertaining? Nicole says: you make it sound like you're an unwilling participant tim says: yes lapdancing. Nicole says: how kinky. tim says: i doubt you want me to lapdance for you anyway Nicole says: and so not something ... Nicole says: argh... you broke my brain! tim says: with evil thoughts. Nicole says: I have to go gargle my brain now. Nicole says: maybe with industry grade bleach. tim says: haha will that be strong enough? Nicole says: enough to kill my remaining brain cells. Chemical lobotomy. :: nimezs @ 11:20 pm [+] :: ... :: Monday, October 10, 2005 :: Here are a few more amusing sentences from the worksheets of the students....Some of the sentences are just amusing because they're grammatically incorrect... "While playing in the rain, Mother shouted at me to come home." To which I replied, "Your mother shouted at you to come home when she was playing in the rain?" "Until his father's death, Alex swore that he would never take drugs again." So he started taking drugs after his father died? "Until the arrival of the principal, the boys stopped fighting." You get the picture. "When enjoying my lunch, the alarm rang." Obviously a missing word here... alarms have not been known to enjoy lunches. "While cycling, the car behind me horned me." Same thing, but more amusing context. "Whenever it rains, there will always be water outside my house." I wanted to write "DUH!!!!" on his paper. And then there's this sentence that made me laugh so long that the Malaysian Chinese teacher commented that I was laughing in a very "laughly" way... Ask me about it if you really want to find out. It takes a twisted mind to find it funny... =P :: nimezs @ 6:15 pm [+] :: ... :: Sunday, October 09, 2005 :: I'm posting this message here because I know a few people from the channel read my blog and I really am trying to get something started. I do think it's quite a pity that friends drift apart because of no communication. Even if you don't want to come to our outings, that's fine... Just tag along and read the funny emails. Enjoy the photos and videos. As long as you've been a part of #medicine in the past, you're welcome to join. "Mmmkay, I haven't posted a bulletin in ages because there was no reason to. However, currently I'm trying to gather the email address of all ... um... visitors, regulars, part-timers of the old IRC channel #medicine. This is so there will (hopefully) be a more efficient system of outing organization. Please do reply with your email add if you have not already done so. Unless you don't wish to, in which case it's fine. You can also go here: "http://asia.groups.yahoo.com/search? query=chan_medicine&submit=Search" and join directly. Also, the channel has died and no one uses IRC any more. (coughfreakscough) If you ignore me, I'll be very sad. Well, actually no. I couldn't care less. Anyhow, hope you're all doing well, whereever you are." :: nimezs @ 11:02 am [+] :: ... :: Tuesday, October 04, 2005 :: Stairway to Heaven. Drama. Drama. Drama. All the crying and the insane way the step-sister doesn't look at anyone when she's talking. Makes me tired. Friendship is greater than love? Perhaps. But I haven't been known to kiss a friend. I'm not sure if I would want to be friends with someone I loved. I could love someone I was friends with... I don't know about the other way round though. Perhaps it's settling for second best when you can't have what you want. Who knows? Oh dear, oh dear. How sad. Bitter-sweet. The memory of a beautiful dream that eludes you upon waking, the very last tendrils of the feeling evanescing in the morning sun. Somehow it still rings hollow - being friends rather than lovers. It's just a shallow imitation... Somehow. :: nimezs @ 10:18 pm [+] :: ... :: Sunday, October 02, 2005 :: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:William_Hung I sure as hell don't remember putting that entry up on wiki. Interesting though. :: nimezs @ 10:45 pm [+] :: ...
:: Wednesday, September 28, 2005 :: I realise a lot of people I know seem to ask me out at the last minute. I am a last-minute company filler. How terrible. People only ask me out when they can't find anyone else to accompany them to various duties. In other news, don't you think male nurses are so hot? :: nimezs @ 12:04 am [+] :: ... :: Tuesday, September 27, 2005 :: I fly across the clear blue, Soaring to dizzying heights. Unfettered, unchained, A kite snapped free, Tumbling as the wind blows. But when it dies, I wing to the earth, I lay at your feet. You are home. I run across the lush green, Chasing the racing miles, Unbroken, made whole, Revelling in life, So full of boundless verve. But when I tire, I retrace my steps, Return to familiar ground. You are home. Forever and always, All my todays and tomorrows, You are the embrace I seek, The warm familiar touch, Final place of rest. No matter how far I wander, To whatever end I reach, I return, I return. You are my home. :: nimezs @ 10:56 pm [+] :: ... :: Sunday, September 25, 2005 :: And now it's raining. That's strike four. It's probably a sign telling me I'm going to die alone. I'm only joking. Please don't stage an intervention. :: nimezs @ 9:04 pm [+] :: ... :: Saturday, September 24, 2005 :: So I cut my foot on a piece of glass. One of the most asinine questions that someone asked in response: "Did you remove it?" The foot? No, I'm rather attached to it still, I'm afraid. The piece of glass? No, I left it in because the exquisite pain makes the removal so much better later on. And what makes me sad is a barrage of where, when, how questions that come. Fr'creeing oot lood! Is a little sympathy that hard to come by? Why can't the first question be "Are you ok?" How is where and when I stepped on it important after I've already been cut? Maybe where, so you can avoid it. But when? How does THAT figure in? Maybe it's all going downhill again. :: nimezs @ 11:51 pm [+] :: ... :: Friday, September 23, 2005 :: Don't rub me the wrong way. It makes my hair stand. "Hi" Is that it? Hi? That's all you're going to say? For this bit of loquaciousness, you're not getting a reply. "Hi. How are you?" I'm fine, thank you. "Helo Nicole.... :O) how life over there? saw u in gallery.... Sincere to noe u as friend? Hope i stand tat chance hehe .." No, no, no, no. Please don't tell me you're sincere to know me as a friend. My profile's not that interesting and it did explicitly say that I'm shallow, and I'm brutal. Why would you want to befriend me? Don't lie. You think I'm attractive. Say so. That's the only reason. And if you can't speak grammatically AND aren't very interesting, don't even THINK about it. "Care for a chat?" That depends. What kind of chat will this be about? A possible list of topics would be most helpful. "Hi, How are you?? Like to ask whether can I add you in as my friends??? Hope you don't mind..... Thanks... :) Take care... Regards.. " Dear whoever. Of course I mind you adding me as a friend. I don't even know who you are. Isn't the whole point of this friendster thing to add friends? You're a stranger. Shouldn't you first ask if we could be friends before asking if you can add me? Mommy told me not to talk to strangers. So I won't. "care 2 correspond?" Ah. An interesting message. Use of 'correspond' very praise-worthy. Use of '2' to substitute 'to' not. Also, what I don't understand - why do some people include their nationality, race and age in their messages? It's something I can find out on your profile, can't I? I don't see how telling me you're 28/m/chn/sg is going to make me any more interested. Oh golly, a 28-year-old chinese male Singaporean. I've always wanted to meet one of those! And if you don't use a picture of yourself as your default photo, it tells me that you're not proud enough of how you look. Unless it's supposed to be some avant-garde, ironic thing. I can never tell. Nonetheless, I like people who are proud and confident of themselves. And hey, if you see your message up here from friendster, I did warn you. I'm brutal. If you can't take the heat, don't play with fire. On the internet, I FLAME. Because I'm a hellcat. :: nimezs @ 8:23 pm [+] :: ... :: Thursday, September 22, 2005 :: It was a long road, and it stretched out in front of the traveller, endless, it seemed. It wasn't a lonely road to begin with, for many people passed him. Some stopped to walk beside him, glad for company along the walk. He was glad for theirs and appreciated it. There were others, though, who stopped only because they thought he might have something to give them, but when they realised he did not, they walked away, falling behind or walking ahead so far he could not recognize them any longer. There were others still who told him how he should walk in order to make the best of the journey, thinking their own ways best. Some were right, some were wrong, but most did not realise that there were many paths. There was a path, whether easy or hard, that suited each the best, and each path was different though they might overlap. Much to their misfortune, they did not realize or would not acknowledge that sometimes getting lost was the best way to learn the ills of the wrong path. He did not know this, and meandered to follow the directions he felt were good. It was hard. It was impossible to walk many paths at the same time. He grew tired trying to keep up and slowed to his own pace. They left him behind, scornful, resentful of his inability to do as they said. They could not see that he was trying his best to please everyone. He could not, of course. For a while, he was lonely for there was no one else he could see ahead of him on the road. Even when he had regained his strength he had no wish to catch up and no way to, for the paths diverged and he knew not which way each of his companions had left. Sometimes he would see glimpses of them in front of him or on a road parallel to his. It made him extremely wistful for the times when he had company on the road. Other strangers passed him by, but very few stopped to say hello. Mostly however, he walked alone. And this made him very sad. Mournful that even all the people who had promised to be by his side were somewhere else. He did not know if this was because they had made empty promises, or if they did not know that he was alone. The road became harder and harder to walk. He wanted to stop. :: nimezs @ 10:29 pm [+] :: ... :: Wednesday, September 21, 2005 :: To excite is to be able to elicit or arouse a emotional response from someone. In this respect, I suppose a lot of people are exciting. My ex-boyfriends were exciting. My students certainly are exciting. Some of my friends are exciting. All of them exciting boys. Yes, they're able to elicit strong emotional responses from me. Just not very nice responses. I appreciate that anger is not the kind of response you want to get from me, but then I could be wrong. It is, after all, only an assumption that you want the best for me. There are those who who probably would love to see me lose my temper. And not just in a small way, where I threaten to kick you somewhere, but to a larger extent, where I glare at you and storm off. And yet, sometimes wanting the best for me also does create this same situation. So, for the sake of my happiness, I shall delineate clearly what I mean by "exciting" in a positive way. A guy exciting enough for me is able to keep pace with my wild side as and when it surfaces. He understands that it's necessary to let your hair down once in a while. To go crazy and forget conventions. He, too, has a bad side, and recognises that. He knows how to flirt, how to tease, how to amuse his audience. An exciting guy knows how to have fun. When I say fun, I mean something spontaneous, something enjoyable and definitely unexpected. I realise a lot of things fall into this category depending on the kind of person you are. There are a lot of things that excite me. A good book. Jewellry. Shopping. An arcade game. Visiting new places. Badminton. Soccer. Captain's ball. Canoeing. Most sports. A guy trying to pick me up and depending on how good looking it is, this could range from mild amusement to sweaty palms and palpitations. I've never experienced the more extreme range. Ooh. Fight then sex. Sorry. Distracted by "Indecent Proposal". Yeah anyway. There's no point having this conversation. Even the most exciting guy will get boring with age, predictable with time. Robert Redford just offered to buy Demi Moore a dress. This kind of thing only happens in movies. Or maybe just if you're Demi Moore. And that is a really cute couple routine. "Did I ever tell you I love you?" "No." "I do." "Still?" "Always." And boy do I love people who make me laugh. And the money. I love the money...A rich and humourous guy would be the most exciting kind of guy for me. Hahaha. But since I have my own income, I'll just settle for a funny one. :: nimezs @ 9:30 pm [+] :: ... :: Sunday, September 18, 2005 :: I'm not sure when it happened, but I'm being auntified by people around me. Especially the guys. I admit I've never been a hip young thing, but to progress from teenager to aunty in a matter of... a few years is a bit much. Wait, did I say "progress"? Do I really give off this maternal vibe? I mean, from secondary school to JC, I've been jies and aunties, never younger sisters or nieces. Maybe people just do it to me on purpose because they know I don't really like it? Whatever it is, I feel like I'm already settling into the role. Which as I said to some people, is a step up from tai tai. I've completely bypassed the stage I wanted to be at without even getting to enjoy it. I suppose it's the only recourse I could take - the more guys auntify me, the more I emasculate them. And they don't like being emasculated. =( Why do I feel older than even the guys my age? It's a vicious cycle, which also means if I want to date someone, it'll have to be someone way, way older than me so this whole process never starts. But I don't really like way, way older guys because they treat me like a baby. Then again, I don't know many much older guys. Darn it. This really sucks. Maybe I'll have to go overseas to find a suitable partner. Nonetheless, Jeremy is Aunty Nicole's favourite nephew. Also, I can't find the original for this drawing. It saddens me. :: nimezs @ 3:28 pm [+] :: ... :: Friday, September 16, 2005 :: I've decided that next month's gift to myself shall be an IPod. That means I'm buying it. Not you. :: nimezs @ 12:10 am [+] :: ... :: Thursday, September 08, 2005 :: I think it's hilarious that people refer to the contestants of Project Superstar like that. The blind guy, Kelly, the other guy and that other girl. HAHA... Pretty much sums up the whole contest, don't you think? Kelly seems to be the only one that's remembered. :: nimezs @ 10:55 am [+] :: ... :: Sunday, August 28, 2005 :: You made me feel alive for the day. Thank you. :: nimezs @ 10:30 am [+] :: ... :: Friday, August 26, 2005 :: A score, a score and twenty more Of restless suns viewed from the shore, Till fettered gates and bolted door, When blessings fill and mercies pour, Reveal anew once-empty core. :: nimezs @ 7:31 pm [+] :: ... :: Saturday, August 20, 2005 :: I get it... Man, this is a good book. I love it. Ladies, don't wait by the phone anymore. If he's into you, nothing will stop him from getting to you. Stop making excuses for him. Men should do the chasing. So let them. If he doesn't call, doesn't want to date you or gives you flimsy excuses, it's because he's just not that into you. You deserve someone better. Right?  He should never make you feel sad... :: nimezs @ 11:11 pm [+] :: ... :: Wednesday, August 17, 2005 :: And if Charmed is supposed to be family show, why is it you can see Phoebe's nipples through her top? It's on Prime-time! :: nimezs @ 8:43 pm [+] :: ... :: Monday, August 15, 2005 ::  Photo of the day. Of course, it would've been better if I'd been standing in the middle of the road. But I'm funny like that - being run down by cars hasn't been the same since they removed my frontal lobes. :: nimezs @ 9:26 pm [+] :: ... :: Saturday, August 13, 2005 :: I don't know if this is a test of friendship or love, but uh... would you come and scrape me off the sidewalk if I was totally wasted, in the middle of the night? Bonus points if you have a girlfriend. :: nimezs @ 8:16 am [+] :: ... :: Tuesday, August 02, 2005 :: How do people go from an angry rage into a fainting spell? I'm not saying it's impossible, I'm just wondering how it feels like. I mean... being faint and yet having the energy to hit back.... :: nimezs @ 8:01 pm [+] :: ... :: Sunday, July 31, 2005 :: We judge others and condemn them when it behooves us to feel morally superior. Even when we're at risk of being hypocrites ourselves. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. But it's not often that we follow this principle, is it? We're all too ready to stone others before seriously looking at ourselves. Perhaps it's time we all took a moment of quiet reflection to judge ourselves before judging others. It brings back a thought from The Crucible that I've never forgotten and have tried to live by (not always successfully) - that if you can't judge yourself, how can you judge others? Of all the books I've read, The Crucible, by far is still the most memorable and life-changing. "I speak my own sins; I cannot judge another. I have no tongue for it" - Proctor, Act 4, The Crucible The other thing learnt today is that it's hard to keep a cynical heart and be happy. You can only have one or the other... so if you must choose, I suppose, choose to believe. The most naive people are still the happiest, after all. :: nimezs @ 10:06 pm [+] :: ... :: Friday, July 29, 2005 :: Thank. God. It's. Friday. :: nimezs @ 12:00 am [+] :: ... :: Saturday, July 23, 2005 :: About 85% of the blog template html was missing... almost like it was half-loaded only. It terminated abruptly at the side-bar html... Anyhow, problem has been resolved, no thanks to anyone else. Managed to grab the source from one of the previous posts to restore order. Somewhat. Still, it looks fine, I suppose. :: nimezs @ 2:51 am [+] :: ... :: Thursday, July 21, 2005 :: How nice it is to discover, amidst the chaos, a moment where everything makes sense or just doesn't matter. To be able to laugh without thinking. To feel... peaceful. "That lovely bittersweet pain brings back fond memories. I want to make it last forever and I will do whatever it takes." - [english translation] Shigure, Fruits Basket It's been a rather mellow, whimsical day for me... but then, reading Fruits basket always makes me feel like that. I get funny thoughts, questions... Questions like... When was the last time you said sorry to a person? Or thank you? It's funny, but... I'd bet for most people, sorry isn't a word often said. For some, thank you isn't something often said either... And then there Touru (protagonist) is, thanking everyone and being grateful for every little thing; being able to smile through everything. And everyone asks themselves, how? How is it she's able to look happy and grateful even though she keeps giving and giving? Sometimes it makes me want to cry. It's quite a beautiful balance of humour and sadness. :: nimezs @ 10:57 pm [+] :: ... :: Wednesday, July 20, 2005 ::
 New debit card. It's funny, but looking at it makes me feel slightly happy. =/ Even though it's not like I have a lot to spend. :: nimezs @ 11:24 pm [+] :: ... :: Tuesday, July 19, 2005 :: I concede that the older you are, the more experience you have but being older doesn't necessarily make you smarter or wiser. The arrogance of age is a terrible thing - it imposes views and judgements on others deemed "younger". The mere difference of a few years does not give you the right to rank yourself superior to all that you survey from your exalted pedestal. A 24 year old living in an ivory tower should not give advice to a 14 year old living in the streets on how to live life. How can one give advice for a life one has not lived? You're not qualified to tell others what to do unless you've been through the exact same situation. Easier said than done. :: nimezs @ 5:13 pm [+] :: ... :: Sunday, July 17, 2005 :: ...And I will probably die alone. Before you leap to any conclusions about my self-pity, I think this is an outcome that I would most prefer. Please let's not have every occassion in our lives turn into some photo-whoring situation. It's not all about the partying and how many people you can invite to your funeral. Metaphorically, that is. Of course, this is merely a view expressed by the cynical, hateful, misanthrophic person that I sometimes degenerate into if left alone long enough. It probably stems from my not being loved enough as a child and lingering issues of ostracism experienced at the onset of secondary school. And my condition is constantly being aggravated by my interaction with peers, most of whom I harbour secret fantasies of beating to a pulp. There may come a day when I completely lose it and go ape-shit on someone's ass. I eagerly await it with a lead pipe. I know I'm not being facetious enough for the sacarsm to be readily obvious, but you can set your pretty heads at ease. I am being flippant. But yes, everything is a popularity contest. Being the Singapore Idol, becoming the president of a club, that funny singing competition thingy on Channel U, birthday parties, graduation parties, Friendster.com, having people send you off, winning any kind of voted competition and having almost any kind of party....Popularity contests. What a funny world we live in now where we are judged by the length of our MSN list, where we name acquaintances as friends even when there's no feeling there. Perhaps in such a networked society, we hasten to call others our friends so that we may be remembered by those we know. Unfortunately the price paid for this is a gradual erosion of identity - we're not individual entities any longer, just someone's friend. And that's all. Because everything has become a popularity contest, it's no longer as important to know someone. You just have to be able to name the person and the situation through which you met. But really, how can you call someone a friend unless you know things about this person the average stranger doesn't? Favourite colour? Favourite band? What about their personality traits? Loyalty? Stinginess? Kindness? And the things they hate - litterbugs, Ashton Kucher? Any hobbies? Pet phrases? On that perfectly serious note, let me say to all "friends" and potential "friends": If you don't even know one thing about me that someone else could learn within a 5 minute chat, you can take your friendship and shove it. And don't ever, ever ask to be my friend if you're only ultimately interested in getting into my pants. Or up my skirt. Whatever. Respect if you're honest, lead pipe if you're not. :: nimezs @ 10:18 pm [+] :: ... :: Saturday, July 16, 2005 :: ***Rant-a-day week starts here*** Before you ask, no, I have not read the entire book. I have read enough, however to ensure that I'm not judging the book by its cover, which is entirely artistic and tasteful - I'm judging it by the last few chapters I speed-read through. If you're a Harry Potter fan or plan to read the book, I'd advise you to stop reading now. Because what I'm going to say will spoil your taste for it. As you probably know by now, I have developed a contempt for the series over its fourth and fifth books, and it is my belief that the characters, despite having survived several mishaps and misadventures, not to mention 6 fairly lucrative books - have hardly developed as people, if at all. In Book 5, Harry came across as a whiny little prat who thought the world of himself because he had been the only one thus far to face Voldemort, which really disgusted me. I felt that after all he'd been through, he'd want to stay *out* of trouble and at least be a little more grown up. I've no idea what Harry is like in book 6, but my main grouse here are the few plot twists I managed to pick up through my brief reading. Plot twist #1: Snape is the half-blood prince. At least I think he is. Well. As if he wasn't a complex enough character. Only, as you'll learn later, he's less complicated than that. Oh yes, J.K. Rowling makes up for that by making him less complicated. This twist I feel, is hardly exciting nor ... interesting. Snape as a character torn between his past and present as a reformed Death-Eater was interesting enough. Snape, a reformed Death-Eater AND a half-blood prince is just... too much. Which leads to plot twist #2 - Snape is a double-crossing double-crosser. I had no problems with Snape in all the books despite his sneering and oiliness because ultimately it seemed like he was making an effort to turn his back on his past. Oh well. Guess that got thrown out the window because Snape kills Dumbledore (Plot Twist #3). That's right. As if not enough people had died already - I'm wondering if Rowling thinks killing off characters will make the book sales increase. I'm all for a little drama, but 2 main characters in 2 books? That is just too much, and at this point I feel a little sorry for Harry. Come on. Two of his closest and dearest die - BOTH are parent-figures and mentors. Rowling seems determined to make Harry out as a really tragic hero. What makes Dumbledore's death worse was the gratuitously dramatic sequence before it. As far as I could tell, Dumbledore was on the brink of death, but was brought back by some very impassioned spell casting by Harry. Right, fine, so the reader thinks .. Hmm. Guess it's not Dumblefore that dies after all. Then ... Snape happens. I'm sorry. I think I'll have to go into Emo-mode to fully express my rage. OMFG. WHAT THE **** IS THIS?! How can you play with your reader's feelings like that? It feels my soul with indescribable sorrow and rage. JK Rowling doesn't love us anymore - she only loves the money, and she thinks outrageous plots like these will sell. Harry should just kill himself because he's got nothing left to live for - Hermione and Ron will end up together ANYWAY. And Snape! Far from being an interesting character he's now dull and completely evil. For crying out loud. The world isn't a black and white place where all evil is evil and all good is good - where's the tension and the maybes? Harry potter isn't worth living for anymore. The magic has gone out of this relationship and ...and.. I hate it! It's no good. I don't hate the original series enough. I'm just filled with utter contempt because I have experienced the glory that is Cassandra Claire's fanfic, and nothing else will suffice. *mournfully* If that series ever ends, I shall cry. If I ever read the book I'll reassess... but... I don't really want to sully my image of it any further. :: nimezs @ 11:32 pm [+] :: ... :: Sunday, July 10, 2005 :: Remember this question? Well, it's "Is it better to be hypocritically nice or brutally honest?" If you say hypocritically nice, does this mean you only whisper 'brutally honest' (as nice a euphemism I can think of) things behind someone's back? And if you say brutally honest, could you really say these things to a person's face? Which begs the question, Is it better to voice your criticisms to someone's face or voice your criticisms to someone else, where the information will hopefully filter back slowly to the object of affliction, if at all? As far as I can remember, King Duncan probably never knew what (or who) hit him. ('Twas a stab in the dark, you see.) As for Caesar, we all remember his response... Ah, so, if you're going to stab someone, would you do it in the dead of the night without anyone knowing, or in front of everyone in broad daylight? Please realise this is merely an analogy - if you stabbed someone in broad daylight you'd be clapped in irons faster than your victim can scream "Arghhh!!". Then again, if enough passers-by (it's the plural of passer-by. Trust me.) are around, it's possible that nothing might happen at all. All of them would not only be so affronted that you perpetrate like that in front of everyone! but also would do nothing, believing someone else would do it. Anyway, I digress. Sort of. The question still remains, however - which would be preferable, even suitable behaviour that should govern a principled person every time? Or does it, like most economics students will tell you, "depend on the situation"? And on the other hand... Certainly, it's quite enjoyable to engage in a little gossip and bitching behind someone's back - though certainly not as enjoyable for the gossipee in question. Well, even if the gossipee were included in this gossip, likely results would run along the lines of the same person still being uncomfortable. Here we are presented with an interesting conundrum - your gossipee is unhappy whether you tell him/her to the face or behind the back. So folks, what should someone do? There's always the third option of shutting up. But oh dear, not sharing information is selfish and unhealthy for the person who's learnt some exciting new things and is bursting to tell. And of course, being able to dish out the bad stuff on someone makes you feel, in a tiny way, superior. Coming back to our analogy, Brutus needed to dispose of a possible tyrant. *stab* Problem averted. Macbeth wanted to be king. *stab* Wish granted. Now, if we were to really relate this analogy as closely as possible to my question, we would come up with this: That in order to prevent people from becoming tyrants, we stab, I mean... criticize them to their face. And in order to take power from others, or well, just diminish them, we stab them in the back. And in order to become an immortal daughter of the air, we stab no one at all and throw ourselves into the sea (10 points if you can get the reference.) No matter what choice you make, someone gets hurt. Sort of. I'll just end off with something my boyfriend has taken to saying : Ignorance is bliss. That's also a subject of contention, but never mind. :: nimezs @ 11:27 am [+] :: ... :: Friday, July 01, 2005 :: Removes plaque 51% more effectively. Than what? Next leading toothbrush brand? A standard toothbrush? Not brushing? :: nimezs @ 4:01 pm [+] :: ... :: Wednesday, June 29, 2005 :: It is so tastily tantalizing and makes my tongue tingle! Ah, food cravings. Why must they come every month? I can't think of anything else but eating. Quiche! I want quiche... :: nimezs @ 10:31 pm [+] :: ... :: Thursday, June 23, 2005 :: After completing Isabel Wolff's Out of the Blue, I've realised one thing - Men don't make promises not to do something wrong again, they make promises not to tell their partners about their indiscretions instead. I give you an example from the book : "It's my fault - I know that. I was an idiot to tell you about my fling." "No, Peter,...That's not the point. You were an idiot to have a fling." I've noticed it's true - everytime a guy does something you don't like, the first thing he says is "Ok, next time I won't tell you about it" and not "Ok, I won't do it again". Is it really because they can't help themselves, or that they don't want to control themselves? Perhaps someone can clarify. =P The other interesting piece of news today? My hamster fell behind the table. Funny really, because I couldn't move the table... But I finally got it out by shaking its food dish at it... Apparently it's been conditioned enough by the sound to respond to it. :: nimezs @ 9:27 pm [+] :: ... :: Friday, June 17, 2005 ::
 Pretty pretty bikinis! Realize there's lots of underwear in that photo, but it's not like you've never seen it before... Right?   Not-so-much-pinkie-as-ring-finger ring. Day 1: We shopped. Everything that happened before we reached KL, however, Neltje will no doubt tell you in lurid detail if you ask. I was most amused by her impatience. The above 2 photos summarize the things we bought. Don't ask me where we went to shop. I have a very short memory. I did, however, purchase items that are readily available in Singapore as well. *guilty grin*  Before a night out in the KL club scene... Day 2: We started out with a swim, but photos will sadly be not available except to a very selective audience after undergoing heavy censoring. Because Neltje has made me promise on pain of... um... pain not to reveal them publicly. After which, we went shopping (again) at Chinatown and KLCC. Then we went back home and dolled ourselves up (some more, I think, in my case...) and hit the club strip. Pity that Zouk had a cover charge and I don't drink anyway. And I really should dress up more when I go out. The difference in photos - it is stark. On the other hand, I don't want to be the kind of person who only looks good from afar, under good-lighting and make-up.  Hehe. This photo basically sums up everything - Bus broke down on the way back. Got hungry, bought KFC, ate by the roadside. Day 3: That definitely had to be the highlight of the day - the bus breaking down on the way back to Singapore. Our 5-6 hour journey turned into a 7-8 one which cummulated in us arriving in Singapore at about 11. Quite alright, you say, but you didn't see the jam on the causeway. But the time I had arrived home it was 1.30 a.m. Boy, were the other girls pissed. I think they complained to the bus company, but I don't know what came out of it... There you go. My KL trip in a nutshell. Don't complain if I didn't buy anything back because I didn't buy anything back for ANYONE. Yes. It's all about ME. :: nimezs @ 12:46 am [+] :: ...
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