The problem with Life, the Universe and Everything
(This was written in my TLLM journal on the MRT one day, and it has finally made its way to my blog, as it should have about a week ago... But with new content!)
The problem with giving relationship titles is that people expect you to use them appropriately. E.g.
"I thought I was your girlfriend? Why do you keep introducing me to people as your friend?"
A big no-no, of course, telling people your girlfriend is your friend (though technically not wrong... What, are you ashamed of her?). A better way of circumventing the problem would be to introduce the person by name (and then leave out the title if you want to hide it). Unfortunately, this assumes the other person being introduced will not contribute and no one presses for details. There was this incident where after I was introduced and my friend was asked of our relationship, I gamely interrupted, saying "I'm the girlfriend he will never have."
But therein lies the problem with relationship titles. Everyone has a title they think the other should be using on them. It doesn't always correspond with the actual title given to them by the other. Friend, best friend? Good friend? Buddy? Mate? Spouse? Significant other? Boyfriend? Lover? Someone I'm seeing not so seriously? Someone I'm seeing seriously? Acquaintance? I've always had a problem with people who balance precariously on the line between acquaintance and friend. Also, it's really an ass to refer to in conversations... "Just the other day, this person I actually don't know very well in real life and only talk to online, said..."
So much easier to just substitute "friend" right? Despite it not being completely true. By the way, I happen to know quite a few people only via conversations conducted electronically, so please do not think I am refering to ANY OF YOU. SPECIFICALLY.
(Some people get very funny about not being considered a friend after knowing me all of two hours. Funny in an upset way. I mean, I like y'all, I really do, but we're just not there yet, you know? Maybe we're moving too fast? Should we reconsider our relationship?)
The basis of any good relationship then is to constantly reassess and update suitable titles. E.g.
"Hey, so are we friends now?" "Am I your best friend or what?" "So are we like a couple?" "When are you going to introduce me as your girlfriend? "Aren't you going to tell people we're married?" "Are you ever going to let me use the 'Mrs.' prefix?" "I'm the mother of your freakin' children, for goodness sake!"
Use and abuse as appropriate. I understand it's a little difficult to broach the subject, but how much more convenient for the both of you! Never again will you have awkward moments when your friend/boyfriend/spouse/cousin/neighbour/illicit lover introduces you as "This is my um... Sarah". Then you silently fume inside because you thought you had something more going on. Or are secretly shocked because you thought less was going on.
Most appropriately, "All you need is love" is playing on my Win Media player now. So... right... All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.
"Maybe we're not friends, but I love you anyway."
No winking involved in that sentence please.
:: nimezs @ 2:17 am [+] ::
