:: No hablo estúpido ::

:: Sunday, January 30, 2005 ::

I seem to spend an inordinate amount of time doing useless things. For instance, today I spent one entire hour on my feet walking around because there was nothing else to do. Not that walking was any improvement because I'm pretty sure there's blister on my foot now. Still, I managed to see the Fabric of the Nation, which was interesting.

There was more walking to come later, along streets I was in no mood to traverse alone. Quite possibly a bad decision on my part, I suppose although I was partially mollified by company along the bus trip. Well, that instantly evaporated the moment I contemplated the distance from the bus-stop to the next MRT station. Unfortunately it was too tiring to stomp, otherwise I probably would've, all the way there, because you know, it's so cathartic.

I really wonder sometimes if I waste too much of my time on stupid decisions that I initially think are good but later prove not to pay off as much profit as capital is put in. Worse still, whatever ire I pick up from these ventures I cannot direct at anyone, and I hate to go into that self-blaming spiel because it only ends up in miserable self-pity.

Life, I bite my thumb at thee this day. For I walk lonely roads in quiet desperation; there is no end in sight. I pass many and they join me for but a while; they fall away, their paths run not with mine. I journey on alone and afraid, no one but my shadow to dog my heels.

Last question: Is forgiveness a sign of weakness or kindness? And how do you tell the difference?

:: nimezs @ 11:04 pm [+] ::

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If you judge people, you have no time to love them - Mother Theresa

Everyday, in every single situation, we judge others, judge objects, judge situations by our own meagre, self-centered understanding of the world. It's difficult not to, because I suppose it's some sort of survival instinct. The inability to judge someone's character, or a situation could be fatal if say, you could not sense the evil in someone's heart, or see the danger in things. I can't say that it's wrong to judge or that one shouldn't because it's such a natural thing. Instantaneously we form our own impressions of words, actions, looks... How difficult it is to remain truly impartial.

What's wrong, what's right is based on what we know. And we hardly, if ever, can see all sides of a situation; every facet that reveals a new perspective. Context changes everything. You see arrogance radiating coldness in public, but do you ever see the lonely tears raining in private?

Who are we to judge?

Even if you were to be so blessed with such insights, this gift might not necessarily make judgement easier, although it would approach a modicum of accuracy. I give you a simple example: Theft to feed a hungry family. How would you judge? There's guilt, no doubt, but guilt for a noble reason. Would you convict such a person? Justice or mercy?

Everyone has reasons for doing anything - your own take on this would be the belief that you would behave in a certain way in the same situation. It's not always accurate. And that's if you're even wise enough to put yourself in the person's shoes. How unlucky for those who don't even receive this because they are immediately compared to your notion of propriety. Think on it the next time you're too quick to come to a conclusion about something you don't know enough about. The fatal flaw in the previous statement is well... I don't know enough about what I'm talking about because seriously? I haven't thought this through completely.

And of course, when I say "you" I'm not indicating anyone in particular - it's just more personal than saying "one". I'm not writing an essay after all. I would never judge you. ;-)

:: nimezs @ 2:46 am [+] ::

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What is it with men and their hands? He built her a freaking ice-skating rink!!!! (And it justifies the 4 exclaimation marks)

An ice-skating rink!!!!

An ice-skating rink!!!!

I can't believe it. Yes, it's only in a show, but wow.

:: nimezs @ 1:59 pm [+] ::

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Okay, see, I have a cough. So I went to the doctor, and they prescribed some meds for me. What I find outrageously funny about this are the instructions they gave with the medicine.

Cough Medicine : To be taken 4 times a day after food (6-Hourly)
Antibiotics : To be taken 3 times a day before food. Take half-hour before meal. (8-Hourly)
Lozenges : 1 tablet to be sucked 3 times daily (8-hourly)

If I strictly follow ALL of the above instructions, I'll need to eat at least 4 meals a day, some of which would last up to 4 hours. Of course, I could also take 5 meals a day, with at least 2 of in the dead of the night. It brings a whole new meaning to 2 a.m feeding. Honestly, how on earth do you make this schedule work?
Currently, I'm being contrary and sucking the lozenges as and when I like and if I'm not wrong, my antibiotics are being taken at 6 hour intervals now because there's no way I can wait 8 hours between meals and I usually have a maximum of 3 only. I mean, I try but... it's impossible, I tell you, impossible!
The drowsiness is good though. Excellent for putting me to sleep.
Suddenly I feel a craving for porridge with Bovril. Probably because that's all I had when I was sick.

:: nimezs @ 1:03 am [+] ::

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At least a sore throat doesn't tickle. My abs are aching from all the coughing. :(

:: nimezs @ 2:30 am [+] ::

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Sigh. I feel I should say a little about what's going on in my life now because I usually just say weird stuff or whine anyway. Oh wait, what's the difference between that and my life? >.<

Anyhow, tutorials have started. I only had the urge to write here because I had to do this short intro (in our general forum) for two of my classes, and felt liable to start pouring out vomiting all the grieviences I have about working with large groups of people. Yes, it's nice in a way, but methinks I'm the type cut out to do menial, brainless tasks like cutting flowers, pasting glitter... Not calling up places and demanding why they haven't sent their goods yet(not that I've ever actually done that). Problem is I don't feel any fulfilment doing the former, and you can't rely on me to do the latter. Furthermore, I hate being told what to do (when I know it myself) but I hardly ever do anything unless someone tells me to.

Hmm. Dang. I'll never find a job like that.

:: nimezs @ 11:59 pm [+] ::

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I really did write a chapter. Honestly! Go see! A chapter and another short.

:: nimezs @ 10:04 pm [+] ::

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Wanted: Home-page revamp.
Obstacle: Can't be arsed.
Reward for Quester: As per other reQuests, Everlasting Gratitude.

Interested parties can mail me with your templates. Offer lasts till next late night spent with lots of boredom.

:: nimezs @ 3:23 am [+] ::

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Yo, check it!

:: nimezs @ 2:53 am [+] ::

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I think the funny sinking feeling is much worse than the funny cold feeling. The question is, of course, whether it means anything.

:: nimezs @ 1:43 am [+] ::

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Cheesy, but so catchy.

Wo-ooh wo-ooh yea yea
I love you more than I can say
I’ll love you twice as much tomorrow
Oh love you more than I can say
Wo-oow wo-oow yea yea
I miss you ev’ry single day
Why must my life be filled with sorrow
I love you more than I can say
Why don’t you know I need you so
Oh tell me please I gotta know
Do you mean to make me cry
Am I just another guy
Wow wow yea yea
I love you more than I can say
I’ll love you twice as much tomorrow
Oh love you more than I can say
I love you more than I can say
I love you more than I can say

I always loved the bridge.

:: nimezs @ 2:14 am [+] ::

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Your floccinaucinihilipilification of my problems causes me to be atrabilious. It is causing me acronychal dysania as I have not yet achieved the peace of ataraxy. I shall run away to be an austringer.

:: nimezs @ 1:06 am [+] ::

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China is a beautiful place. You don't even have to be a professional photographer to capture the most gorgeous pictures. The scenery sort of takes care of itself there. Some of the views are literally breathtaking and even the photos cannot capture the actual sight.

The winter sky is so beautiful. It's blue, yes, actual sky blue, not the washed out greys or pale blues you get in Singapore most of the time. I'm too lazy to put photos up now, but I'll show if you ask. Plus I don't think any photo servers provide enough space to do justice to the resolution of the pics. Let me just say that the memory all my pictures take up comes to about 120 MB.

Of course, it's never just the pictures that make me pause and smile. It's the memories, etched into my mind. I dream about China, sometimes.

:: nimezs @ 2:03 am [+] ::

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Well, Happy New Year! 2004 is finally over. Now I can start burning my calenders and other miscellaneous objects of great grief (e.g. notes... homework) to celebrate.

Resolutions: Find something actually constructive to occupy my free time. Whine less. Smile more.

I made some major mistakes last year, but for once, now the old has passed, I feel free from them. Only half a year more in school. Hurrah to that. I'm half glad that I won't have to see NUS anymore, and half sad, because I WILL miss being a student. But I guess it's time to close another chapter on my life and write an end to this particular story.

:: nimezs @ 1:31 am [+] ::

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